03.10.08
Emo Attack
To shatter the whole into a sum of parts
Mismatched and unbalanced yet holding on dearly
To deceit and lies thought of truth, nearly
Lacking clandestine knowledge and mental clairvoyance
As lies, like gnats, encircle annoyance
03.09.08
《霍元甲》
最近刚看完新版霍元甲连续剧。演员如下。
虽然已知道故事会如何结束，看这部戏还多次落泪。。。是我过于感性，还是发出内心无法压抑的情绪。霍元甲应当是所有华人的骄傲，一个中华民族的武术宗师。他创造了一段永不泯灭的武林神话，振奋人心，以压倒性的威力屡次挫败外国武术高手。
侠义精神垂万古
英雄浩气贯长虹
一身肝胆生无敌
百战灵威殁有神
这是描述两个人成长的故事。（霍元甲 及 陈真）霍元甲出生于静海的一个武术世家，但因体弱多病，父亲不许他习武。其次，父亲更要他避免武林杀戮，保存霍家血脉。然而，慧根非浅的霍元甲却私下学得一身精湛的武艺。师傅更是教诲一个道理：各门各派不外传武艺，使得他们隔步自封，许多武学失传。中华武学，博大精深，百川纳海，取长舍短，融汇贯通，所向披靡。这也成为霍元甲一生的宗旨，以精武的意念鼓起国民士气。只有强身才会强心，只有强心才会强国。他把一生的心血都花在实现这个梦想，但多年走过的路并不简单。
其一，是跟父亲的冲突。父亲乃霍家正宗秘宗拳掌门， 拳训苛刻，有许多传授武艺的戒条，其中包括已学其他武艺半路拜师者不收。父亲持续不收元甲为徒，但知道元甲是武学奇才之后，暗地里希望他能把霍家拳发扬光大。霍元甲却不愿破门规拒绝拜父亲为师，还经常劝父改掉拳训的戒条，有许多争执。
其二，霍元甲被夹在两个女人之间。年幼因多病父母买了一婢女为结发妻子，但霍元甲却一直把她当着对自己呵护有佳的芸姐。真正两情相悦的对象是赵家小姐。然而，霍家和赵家初始却有过劫，何况赵倩男已有婚约在身。
其三，霍元甲在一场比武中，大师伯苦苦相逼，霍元甲被迫使用禁招，误杀大师伯。他大师伯在静海应该最强，连霍家赵家掌门都不能敌，因此霍元甲开始踏上了武林神话的道路。大师伯的徒弟陈真一心想为师傅报仇，跟霍元甲结怨。阴差阳错下，霍元甲收陈真为徒，说是给陈真练成高超武艺后打败自己的机会。这段特殊的师徒关系在陈真身上可看出许多心灵上的挣扎，多次想取师傅的命。
其四，霍元甲到了天津后，击败了优秀的日本武士宫本君。之前，天津最强的武术宗师，太极推手冯昆，都不敌宫本君，只能用性命换来给霍元甲看宫本君必杀技的机会。霍元甲被日本人使用诡计被刺一刀，但在数日后还是在武台上把宫本君打得重伤，顿时成为民族英雄。然而，各大门派称霍元甲非正宗门派，说他自创迷踪艺是邪魔歪道。霍元甲还是坚持自己的信念，希望各门派能打破门户之见。
其五，霍元甲到了京城后，又跟俄国人结怨。俄国派出大力士挑战中国，称中国人民为东亚病夫。霍元甲的二叔看不过眼，便打了去，却不幸丢命。霍元甲将一些西洋物理学的元素融入武功，击败俄国大力士，再度成为中华民族的大英雄。慈禧太后更是废除了之前设下的禁武令。霍元甲也扛起了二叔怀山武馆馆主的重任，并收堂弟堂妹元勇，元婷为徒。
其六，是好友农劲荪和师傅之间的政治对立。农劲荪是革命党，势必推翻腐败的朝政。师傅却力拥清朝的光绪皇帝。霍元甲左右为难。师傅最后被英国枪队打死。洋枪有谁不怕？霍元甲夜探英国使馆，将英国大使首级斩了高挂城门，再创传奇。
其七，霍元甲落入奸计，被俄国人注射鸦片，身心焦脆。这一段非常悲伤，尤其是看霍元甲获救后艰辛的戒烟过程。在他戒烟时，日本第一武士伊藤下战书。大哥霍元武代替出战，结果身亡。之前父亲因老年而逝世了。在丧亲的同时，霍元甲却要扛起拯救国家的重任。
其八，代表中国竞赛万国比武大会。在半决赛对服用禁药的英国拳王，更在半场眼被扔药粉，暂时失明，好不容易以声音辨位的高超技术击败对手。大决赛正是对垒日本第一武士伊藤。比赛前，得知一位好友是日本人，一直都在利用自己，而且被骗赵倩男已死，受到极大的打击。在擂台上，霍元甲出现中毒现象，原来是之前中了慢性毒药。在半场昏迷沉睡时，突然听见赵倩男呼喊他的名字。全场观众也开始呼喊霍元甲，包括洋人在内。霍元甲站了起来，继续应战，边打边吐血。从未败过的伊藤第一次被打得如此下场，最后好像死在擂台上。这几幕看了非常心酸。霍元甲身含剧毒，加上鸦片之前使体魄变得较虚弱，却背负所有中国人的期望，击败伊藤，创造了一个从未在武台败过的神话。
最后，看到陈真成熟了。虽不再是精武门（霍元甲开创）的弟子，但一人扛起报仇的责任，以确保精武门不受牵连。陈真顺利杀了日本的幕后主使，为保精武门，自己自首，不知是否枪毙身亡。日后，陈真被称为精武英雄。
现在，让我打破一些虚构的情节。故事和现实有什么不同？霍元甲出生是农民，父亲是镖师，有练武，算是武术世家。。。根本就没有陈真这个人！霍元甲真正入室弟子只有刘振声这个人。赵倩男是虚构的人物。霍元甲的红颜知己的确是王氏。她憎恨武术，因为那使霍家妻离子散，家破人亡。霍元甲有二子三女。挑战中国的大力士根本没有跟霍元甲比试。当时霍元甲武功超群，没有人敢在他面前哼东亚病夫四字。霍元甲接受挑战后，大力士更是自己落荒而逃。霍元甲应该是死于慢性腐肺的药，据说是一位日本医生让他服的药。至今还有迷踪拳谱，但是没有人练成对的招式。它包括各派武术精华，有点出神入化，奥妙无穷，出乎意料，太难学了。到了这几辈，多数的霍氏家族都已弃武了。
说了很多废话。。。不知有谁读完以上长篇！如果你是华人，你对霍元甲一生激励的宏愿有何感触？
03.08.08
Pissed at Myself Part II
Oh no… I dunno what has happened to me recently, making the kinds of mistakes I should not… This do not brood well for my Maths midterm. Consider that there are only 10 MCQs, with each contributing 2% of the eventual grade. With the breakdown of the questions standing like this thus far, its quite a demoralising sight for me. 5 right, 3 I think/hope is right, 2 wrong.
Why do I know I have got 2 wrong, because I know how to do the questions! Dammit, just that I was so friggin’ careless during the adrenaline-packed 1 hour. So at best I could only hope for 80% (in this test), which is bad enough for me in anything related to maths. And yet the worst I might only barely scrape thru half the paper.
I think its time to look myself in the mirror and convince myself that I’m just another ordinary student out there. And I had better get the idea into my head that I do need to work hard for grades. But… I think I’ve been telling myself that for years, to no avail. I just cannot imagine myself with that kind of positive attitude, but I do wonder what might have been if I had that kind of discipline.
03.06.08
Pissed at Myself
Dammit… I hate myself… I really do…
Proficiency breeds confidence
Confidence breeds arrogance
Arrogance breeds complacency
Complacency breeds mediocrity
I hate myself for the pathetic number of careless mistakes I make in OM test. 88% is just not good enough… Let me wade in misery for the rest of the day… and let me bravely attempt to revise my next test.
03.03.08
1 Test Down
Woohoo… Finished my fna1002 midterm today. Am being quietly confident about “it”… but shall not explicit state “it” since the last time I did that for econs test it didn’t turn out that way… blahz.
In any case, I ALWAYS love MCQs test, hurhur, but was super tired today coz my day started at 8, and the test starts at 6:15pm. And the irritating thing was, the “battle” to get home was horrendous as the end of my test coincided with the end of another major test, namely management science. I was so damn glad I ate two lunches.
On a side note, group presentation for biz legal seems to be quite apt in content, except for a tiny weeny caution.
Hmm… wasted way too much time today just staring into blank space while waiting for the test, so I shall go indulge myself in the pleasures of the world now 
Drama here I come!
