Well… what do we have here? So it turned out my JC clique decided to brood over our results in Swensens yesterday, all the way at Marina Square no doubt. But it is ok… I have a direct bus. Why Swensens? God knows, maybe as a sweetener to soften the blow of our exam results? And in any case, Ken alerted us (izzit him?) to the 1-for-1 ice cream thingie, so I guess the cost is quite reasonable.

D-2.5 hour: Still on msn with the clique. I didn’t feel any sense of tranquility at all. My heart was like bubbling (with panic and anxiety) For many times, I told myself… BELIEVE! Not this time, I had a really really negative feeling…

D-1.5 hour: I should have left home. I had not. Thought I was gonna be late. In fact, everything suggested that I will be late. I still had to walk to purchase my bus concession travel, and backtrack. Until… I saw the bus, and ran towards it (my usual regular exercise?), evading some people and a cab on the way. Well, thanks to the driver who was nice enough to wait.

D-0.5 hour: On the dot of time, I reached the destination at our agreed meeting time. Saw Dom, Zong and jh. Well well, Ken is the latest one! hahaha. Nvm, at least I remembered to superpoke jh’s tummy this time.

D hour: That was it… the moment of revelation, despair, and sorrow. What grief and agony! There were mixed feelings, but the negative one was hugely dominant. The passages of time I cannot command, moments of folly forever entrenched.

One mod was staring at me right in the face, and it struck me like a thunderbolt. Dude… wake up… you got a B- for sleeping in lectures AND tutorials… What more could you ask for? THAT, exactly, was the problem. Solo-ing a mod is painful, with double 8am lectures no less. I was complacent… no… I was ARROGANT. It was painful, very painful, to score less than people who should not have been. Hurhur… I guess, congrats bro, you have won me in Maths for the first time in your life. But now an important decision awaits me… this mod, I cannot S/U it if the pursuit of that minor remains in my agenda. It pulled my CAP down. S/U-ing it will pull my CAP up. Wow… what a big difference. Decisive moment, not to be enshrouded in folly again…

On other modules, I’m very very disappointed in another too. I’m supposed to have an affinity with numbers… you know, but I guess balancing numbers are more difficult than manipulating numbers? Hurhur… Crap, it has to stand side-by-side with marketing in my grand scheme of results, utter crap! To my 2 dearest group mates in this mod, so sorry coz I think our project didn’t manage a desired standard.

The rest was good. I actually got better than anticipated in the mod that you can bring a mountain of text into the exam hall. Guessed what? I read those 3 textbooks in 3 days, haha… marvelous I say (I’m less qualitatively-inclined). But then, my strongest mod this sem was a surprise! I had wanted to get it over and done with and have nothing more to do with that department. It probably still stands that way, but wow… I actually scored higher than the other mod which I didn’t feel much need to study at all. Sometimes life is so full of uncertainties…

After numerous cussing, unhappiness, and gloom, Zong & Dom went to play 2 rounds of bowling each. I was still moody… Well, what came next was talking nonsense, some stoning, and dinner. After that, home sweet home. Was tired… and slept on the bus. Got informed that OG outing is scrapped, poor attendance… yea man. But it was actually as strong as my JC clique number wise (but not as bonded bah). Hmm, just missed the chance to see why people say she has the party & naughty look. Whoops, imagine I didn’t type that.

Finally, like OMG. I am gonna work? That is interesting (and unbelievable). I’m like a natural born slacker lah…

Hoorah! Exams for the semester over. I’m still surviving from exasperating dejection and torturous rituals of the big mugging campaign. Oh yea, the latest rite I went through was the generation of a 2 pages cheat sheet for my mno1001 exam. I squeezed everything I could (from the textbook) inside it, definitions, ideas, processes. (minus the ones I actually knew very well, thanks mainly to econs!) Oh yea, that means my cheat sheet is not the longest, hahaha… I merely had like around 3600+ words I think. (please do be reminded my long strings of blah/blah/blah/blah/blah/blah/blah/blah count as 1 word :x) But I could use a healthy font size of 8 and design nicely with colors.

But thats not the point. The point is… the hols is here again! Hahaha… lots of fun things I can do now Gosh… saw my psch class photo. Sparked memories it did! Many familiar faces, and many foreign faces!!! Yes I can name over 20 people! Whoops, not sure if thats a good return (I think its great!), hahahaha. Crap. We are all so little minis back then.

Haha… so many gatherings, class p want, heroux want, my psch class also want! But that one super-duper hard to get it done I think, like still trying to bring everyone back into the circle. But I quite passive one. I wait for people to invite me to outings wahlau,  slacker sia! (typical of me no doubt)

Ok great, didn’t sleep much last night, so… tata

Allrighty, I only have 1 more paper left for this semester, MNO1001… Omg, I don’t think I will like that paper. The entire learning style is so open ended… and the content is like so non-fixed… I wonder at times how much of the tutorials contribute to eventual exam answering techniques. Blahz, the good side is I have effectively 3.5 days less sleep and misc time to prepare for this paper. This means that it could be the paper with the most time spent this semester (whether its most well prepared will be debatable). Oh yea… the cheat sheet, 2 pages… How am I gonna squeeze everything in it???

Major contrast with the paper I just slew this morning, DSC2006. Formula list 2 pages??? My god… is there enough things for me to put onto the formula list?? I didn’t even use up 1 page, and in fact, most of them are already imprinted in my mind. The paper itself, haha, to me is damn easy (sorry if I sound complacent). For the 2nd running semester, I thought the easiest module I was taking is the higher level modules… (DSC2003 & DSC2006) Hahaha… why are they level 2?? Maybe I should seriously consider to specialize in DSC.

Look myself in the mirror… What have I been doing? Slacking?! Cannot forgive myself… Complacency? Nahz… its a matter of stupidity. This must be the worst ever Maths paper I have ever done in my life… yes I’m telling you, for the goddamn (reaching) 22 years of my life. It all seemed a natural thing back then to me… but that must have been a myth. Diligence was the key factor, back when I studiously made sure I completed each tutorial when it came out. (Thanks Ken for being the best study companion I could ever ask for in jc)

Now it was different, I’m in biz school. The mathematical proficiencies required over here is vastly inferior, if I may say that. Has it eroded my diligence, has it diminished my mathematical aptitude? Perhaps… perhaps… Now I couldn’t do much even with a cheat sheet when my brain was ingeniously filled with formula in jc… There were questions I could have integrated outside the panic of exam conditions. No doubt the confidence level was lacking because I slept/ facebooked in lectures, dozed off during tutorials, and attempted to revise for 1/3 days.

I had an astute intimacy with maths… and I need to find it all back. Whoever is up there please let me embrace it once more. I put it down here, for the nth time, that I’m going to work damn hard next academic year, and hopefully, it will be the 1st time that I’m actually serious about it.

Woohoo, saw the end of projects for the current semester. And will be having my final tutorial tomorrow. Hahahaha, finally! The semester is coming to an end! But of course, I still need to brace myself for the exams and get it over and done with now.

So I’m going off to… play games and watch dramas now! HAHAHA, what were you expecting?? Actually I dunno what to post now, coz recently… at least for the past week, my life revolved around financial accounting. Bleahz…

Updates on this site is getting more sparse, thanks in no small part to the intensity of projects we are going through right on. Well, at least most of my work are cleared and so full most effort can go into the final remaining project. My long breaks for Thursdays can be put to good use for that ^_^

All right, so anyway we had a little bit of “consultation” help, though I can’t say I understood everything that was put onto the table in front of us. After all, I still a new student to the course, trying to do well in the theoretical paper.

Putting that aside, Rachel’s daddy is super cool. He’s a great fella, amiable and shall I say, rocks! Plus his car plate license is super cool too, haha, I only knew it today. Oh yea, we took a lil’ excursion out of school, which is great. The school is like a burning cauldron (over exaggerating but you get my point)…

All right, I better stop wasting such time down here and get down with work. (I need more sleep though)

My my… What have I gotten myself into? Can any kind soul remind me again why I have chosen business again? Its like throwing myself into a cauldron of mess. It practically screams projects at me. Terrible schedules have forced very suboptimal meeting time, and considering the amount of projects this semester which all nicely came together at the end, I’ve been exhausting my puny little brain recently. In fact, I have frequently set new personal records for the time I went to bed this semester. Ironically, not for the latest, but in fact earliest… You know, the kind of occasion when I couldn’t have kept my eyes open any longer even if my favorite tv show is on screen.

On that note, I should really reconsider the humongous strain that 8am lectures are putting on me. But I do have a bad feeling I won’t see the end of them this semester… What was really idiotic was the number of times I slept through the lectures, (and even the corresponding tutorial). I’m more reclusive this semester, I feel. This is partly due to the segmented module slots alot of us were given despite the assurance of a “core class”. Besides, being the second semester, standards were set, fatigue starts creeping in, and the persisting stress of under-performance lingers for many. And I can’t help them, not when I can’t pull myself out of my own pit. To add to the pain, why did I take the uncertain step to sign up for things to beautify my CV, without a clear indication that I can cope with it.

Unfortunately, I lack motivational drivers to push myself (further) ahead of the pack. In fact, many retarding forces threaten to expose my weaknesses, amplified in no doubt with my very nonchalant attitude. To be honest, I kind of hate myself for that… I have rested on my laurels long enough, but… not a single person has that something special to change me… just yet…